It Felt Right
by Puffalianna
Summary: Oneshot, idea that came to me of how Lily fell for James. And how he found out. Slightly angsty in the beginning.


**Hey guys. If you read my story Remember When from forever ago. You'll know I love Lily and James. But sadly, I had commitment issues, so that story died. And is now gone. Maybe the chemistry will come back some day. But this one came to me during my math exam today. So I needed to get it down. No, it's not written in British. Because I don't know it. And I would've sucked so bad actual British people will want to rip their own arms off just so they have something to throw at me. And yes, I realize they are British, but I'm not. And I'd rather not ruin the language. **

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It Felt Right

"Bloody hell James Potter! I will not go out with you! Deal with it!" A girl with fiery red hair stormed off. The boy she was yelling at now stood in shock. The halls of Hogwarts have seen this play out many times before. Yet this time, it felt different. There was so much fire and anger beneath her words. She was always furious whenever he approached her with one of his attempts at "wooing the fair lady". But this time, it was as if she wanted him to go to hell and back.

The boy ran a hand through his chaotic black hair, almost unconsciously, staring intently as she stormed off in the other direction. Any other time, he would've made a joke about it and start formulating a plan for his next attempt. Now, the look in his deep hazel eyes was unrecognizable. He banged his forehead against the cold brick of the corridor, and was about to do it again, if it weren't for the strong arms restraining him.

"Sirius. Please." The hand let him go, but cautiously, in case he decided to act rash again. James sighed quietly, it was almost undetectable. His friends looked to him in concern, troubled at his broken state. He was always the strong one, but what happens if the strong one fell?

"Come on James, we'll grab some fire whisky and make it a night, just the four of us. What do you say?" James shook his head.

"Not tonight. I'm sorry Moony." He trudged his feet toward the front doors, back hunched, head hanging low. His hair falling so much into his eyes he almost couldn't see. It went by him unnoticed. Actually, James wasn't paying much attention to anything at the moment.

He walked, and walked. Tripping over divots in the ground occasionally, only to pick himself back up again and keep walking. The sun dipped slowly over the horizon. The sky was splashed with shades of saffron and peach, azure streaks still peeking through. His head eventually made contact with the bark of tree, and he fell back. He made no move to stand back up. If he did, he would just have to keep walking.

It was an old tree. Standing fairly low compared to the tall pines that surrounded it, yet sturdily with a wide trunk. James put a hand to the bark, it jabbed his palm. But pain was good, at least he could still feel. Putting a foot up to the lowest branch, he started climbing. Ascending higher and higher until he could make out the front steps of the school in the distance. Sitting on the branch, he enjoyed the music of the forest. It was evening now. There was just the slightest hint of magenta in the distance. A soft shuffling sound could be heard, the animals were probably settling in for the night. And as though he was dreaming, James heard a melody. Just a soft one, almost blending in with the sounds of the forest. A clear voice was humming. His head snapped up.

Walking along the edge of the forest was a girl trying to smooth her hair down after the wind had blown it in every which direction. Her head swayed slightly as she hummed her song. Looking for a seemingly soft spot on the ground, she sunk down and turned her gaze toward the stars. The melody stopped. She took a deep breath, as if organizing her thoughts. Her gaze was distant, and her green eyes were framed by a slight ring of red.

"Mum, Daddy? It's Lily." She stopped. Her bottom lip slightly trembling as she tried to figure out the rest of her speech.

"Do you remember when I came home crying from Ms. Duke's class? And Mum, you said that if I had opened up to the people that were close to me, they would love me just the way I am? Daddy told me if you loved people, they would love you back no matter what. I've tried to get on, Mum. Honestly, I did. Haley tries to understand, she's really sweet that way. But her picture perfect family would put a Hallmark card to shame. She gets that I need space sometimes. But she's confused about the way ordinary things trigger such an emotional tidal wave from me." Her voice started breaking, as she tried to hold back the tears.

"The other day I was sitting in the Common Room and this First Year started singing 'Over the Rainbow'. When I was afraid of the monster under my bed, you used to sing me to sleep with that song, remember Daddy? How I would never quite make it through the song twice without drifting off? When I heard that opening bar I was about to have a break down in the middle of the room, luckily Haley guessed something was wrong. She just rushed me to our room and sat me down with my teddy bear. Mum, you would've loved her; she ties a ribbon in my hair the exact same way you used to do it." Her arms now wrapped around her torso, hugging something that wasn't there.

"I was four when Daddy brought home Mr. Freckles for me. I remember it quite vividly. He had a red ribbon tied around his neck, his button eyes were shining so bright. He was so soft, so huggable; I don't think I've ever slept without it since. I've had to get him a new ribbon, the old one was no more than a string. And his eyes, they're just barely hanging on now. His tummy is flat, and that rich brown he was is now worn off. But he's still Mr. Freckles, my huggable friend. And now, he feels like my only friend." She wiped at her cheek, and sniffled. The forest was silent for once; the only sound that could be heard was her occasional sniffling, and the gentle breathing of one hiding in a tree.

"I've been doing alright for about two weeks now. Nick and I broke up. I feel like he doesn't know me, for me. Mum, you said that if someone doesn't love you for you, they don't really love you at all. Daddy said when you see who you're meant to be with, you'll just know. I always laughed at Daddy whenever he talked about 'the Spark'. I thought he was just a hopeless romantic. But … Oh…. Yesterday." She laughed a weak laugh at herself.

"I was on my way to Transfiguration, and I was just going to climb out of the portrait hole when my hairclip came loose. Then I was trying to open the door in this really awkward position and someone else reached it the same time I did. Look Mum, I know this is going to sound crazy but when he touched my hand, I just…" She sighed. "Then I looked back, and all I could think about was how I never really realized how brown his eyes were. I think we were standing there forever before I realized it was James Potter. Then of course I ran off. I know Daddy, you've told me so many times. Running off doesn't solve anything. It's just instinct now, you know? I've rejected him so many times I just…ugh!" She huffed.

"And I couldn't get him out of my head all day. All I could think about was how chocolate-like his eyes were, and how his hair needs some god damn hair gel, desperately. He smelled nice too, like that Calvin stuff Daddy wears for formals, but sweeter somehow. I know what you're going to say Mum, and… I think so too. Today was going to be the day, you know? The day I finally stop living in a shell and do something, I was finally going to take a chance in life. He does follow a very strict schedule with these things. Every day, at breakfast, after Transfiguration, and in the Common Room at about nine, it's clockwork. I didn't even care whether he actually likes me or was just doing it for the chase anymore. I just wanted a break from this… blank of my life right now. Then, overly emotional Lily had to make an appearance. It was really his fault you know." There was a slight scowl on her face; the tears were almost dry now.

"He couldn't have used darling, or sweetheart. Or you know, my love wouldn't have been that bad either. He had to say honey-bear. He had to ruin my life-changing moment." Her voice started breaking again. "Daddy called me honey-bear on my first day of playschool, when he taught me how to ride my pink bike with tassels, and to tie my shoe. He called me honey-bear when he kissed my boo-boo better. I couldn't just burst into tears in front of everyone! What was I supposed to do? Lashing out wasn't the smartest thing in the world but, I couldn't cry again, I just couldn't. If I started crying then, I don't think I could've stopped. It's not like I could cuddle Mr. Freckles in the middle of the corridor and have him tell me everything was going to be okay. He couldn't just be like a normal person and use my name. No, he had to use honey-bear." The tears were streaming constantly now.

"I know I hurt him, Mum. I know that. But sooner or later, he's going to figure out he doesn't like me. I mean, he's just in it for the fun. I'd rather give up all hope now, than later, when he can really break my heart. I can't fall in love with him, Mum. I can't be like all those other girls. I can't be broken again. After you and Daddy…." She paused to compose herself slightly.

"After you and Daddy were… gone, I was dead inside. If I have to go through that again, my heart wouldn't be able to take it. I wouldn't be able to go on. Daddy, you've always taught me to follow what my heart says. But do you listen to a broken heart? Is it even your heart anymore? I can't fall in love with him, Mum. I can't be in love with him." The next words came out as a whisper. "Anymore than I already am."

Lily shot up at the sound of tumbling, then a deep thud. Walking swiftly towards her with purpose in his step was a boy with leaves sticking out of his hair and determination in his eyes. She drew in a sharp breath. He stopped in front of her and stared straight into her eyes.

"Say that again." She gasped.

"You were listening?" Anger was back on her face again; clear even through all the tear tracks. "I'm going to…"

"Run me through a chainsaw and feed me to an army of great white sharks all the while laughing at my pain. I know. Just… please. Say it again." There was a fraught plea in his voice, and a frantic look in his eyes.

"Well…you heard me the first time." There was a slight tint of pink beneath her cheeks now. This was first time they've had colour in them for… a while.

"Do you mean it?"

"So what if I did? What does it matter to you? You're just looking for some other… conquest to play with. And after two weeks, I'll just be like half the Hogwarts female population. You know, you think you're so--" He put his hand up to her mouth.

"At the portrait hole yesterday?" She raised an eyebrow. "You weren't mistaken, there was something, because I felt it too. Why can't you see that I'm not looking for another _conquest_ as you call it? I actually do want to know who you really are, because I know that'll just make me love you all the more. God Evans! Why can't you see that?" He lifted his hand from her face and took a step back, running his fingers through his hair out of frustration.

"Prove it." She said. If he kissed her, then she'd know. That she was no different than his other girls.

Instead, he gingerly stretched out her arm and wrapped it around his back, and then he hugged her tight. She leaned into him, almost getting high off of that Calvin-like smell. After the longest while, he didn't let go. The strangest thing was, she didn't want him to let go. In the cold wind of dusk, his warmth was comforting. She sighed contently. She knew what her Daddy's been going on about all these years now. His grip on her slowly loosened as he moved to step out of the embrace. She sensed it, and clung on for dear life. He chuckled lightly.

"So, darling, sweetheart, my love." He began, as the moonlight washed over them. She smiled at his terms of endearment. It just felt so right.

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**A/N: Reviews are like chocolate truffles, the more the better. So. Please? With a half naked Sirius on top?**

**Don't lie. You know you want him.**

**-Puff.**


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